Live-in Relationship or Marriage

The transient nature of relations has been a cause for concern. This does not reflect a moral degradation or fall of values or any such easy ethical judgement, but points towards the complex changes that work upon a society and makes it change in every aspect.

In the sixties and seventies, live-in relations were considered to be the ‘in thing’ by one part of the society and sinful by another part. The 1980s had seen a surge in both marriage and divorce. The next decade was a transition period. Over the turn of the century, marriage made a slight comeback, in the sense that cohabitation was losing out on its charm. But the recent fad is to neither marry nor cohabit, but live alone, treating relations as essentially temporary arrangements.

The Statistics of Separation

The worst part about the statistics of separation is that there are no reliable figures available. The census conducted by the Office of National Statistics still does not take unmarried couples into account, but suffice to say that there are several million of them. It has been pointed out in several private surveys that the rate of separation in cohabitations is higher than it is with married couples, but there is a serious lack of dependable figures to support this assumption. The fact remains that couples in general are parting ways more than before – whether they are married or unmarried.

The Complications of Divorce

One major point where live-ins used to score over marriage was the question of divorce. The fear of going through the complicated legal proceedings of divorce was scary for couples who might have to part in future and wanted to keep that option open. However, this is no more that important a consideration with the changed rules granting almost equal legal rights to both married and cohabiting couples when it comes to divorce. So the complications over child custody or property or assets would still entangle you in both cases.

The Question of Freedom

Then there is the tricky question of freedom. It is a fact that, legally speaking, a married person would have less ‘freedom’ than a live-in partner. You cannot claim infidelity in a relation that is not legally bound yet. However, if there is a cohabitation agreement signed by the partners, then the equation comes back to square one again. Freedom is, after all, an abstract noun and very subjective. One may feel ‘free’ to take certain liberties within a marriage, and too ‘bound’ by the relation to avail the same in an unmarried situation. It all depends on the individual.

Children, Identity and Inheritance

There is the big question of children and identity as well, under which lurks the matter of inheritance. It is still quite difficult for live-in couples to have their children accepted in all social circles and there are several other issues involved as well. You have to make a will and bequeath your property formally to the children if you are living-in, as inheritance does not function automatically as in marriage.

Multiple Relations

As already hinted above, multiple relations are a commonplace matter today. There is no doubt that live-in again scores strongly over marriage. Legally, there is greater scope to manage several relations at the same time if one is unmarried. However, it would again depend on the people concerned and how they view the concept of fidelity.

Financial Benefits and Owning Assets

The one area where marriage seems to have an unfair advantage is financial benefits. It is easier to get any loan if you are married. A live-in partner will not be granted the status of a guarantor without proper and heavy paperwork. It is also difficult to own joint property and try to enjoy tax, medical and pension benefits unless you are married. On the other hand, there is no compulsion for you to share your assets and monies either – which can become the main point of dissent too often in a marriage.

Security and Stability

Finally, there is the factor of security. If marriage was all that secure and stable, why are so many divorces happening? And if living-in was so happy, why are the partners drifting apart? Making your house a home will depend on how you look upon life and, ultimately, it cannot be solved by what is written on a piece of paper.

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