Pain Caused by Child Custody Battles

The consequences of divorce are usually difficult to handle and bring along a lot of pain, anger and insecurity. However, the single biggest victims of divorce are probably children. Even when divorce between couples is amicable, children experience a lot of pain and feel torn apart. After all, their home is torn apart and the two people they love the most are no longer together. When things turn bitter, then a fight for custody can end up being a battle of egos.

Custody Battle

A custody battle between a couple, basically involves each partner claiming the right to retain sole custody of the children. Each partner goes out of the way to prove that the other is not fit to have custody of the children. In an effort to defame the other partner, things can turn ugly and a lot of dirty linen is washed in public. If one partner has a lot of ill-feeling towards the other, then there may be an effort to even deny visitation rights.

Usually, the court will grant physical custody to one partner, while allowing both to be equally involved in any decision taken about the child. Sometimes, a court may grant joint custody where the children have to split their time between both parents. This usually leads them to being shuttled around. Courts tend to be biased in favour of the women when granting custody and this can be contested if a man has a solid case backing him.

Child custody battles involve many issues and do not just end with who gets physical custody of the child. There are financial arrangements, visitation rights, decision making rights etc that have to be decided on. When child custody becomes a battle, then every decision is fought over and becomes a long-drawn process.

Disputes

The disputes that arise during a child custody battle can range from trivial differences of opinion to serious issues. Oftentimes, child custody is reduced to two partners wanting to score point against each other. Disputes can arise about children’s education, health issues, extra-curricular activities, religious beliefs etc. The main dispute, however, is with whom the children would stay. If one partner gets physical custody of the children, then visitation rights of the other partner have to be sorted out.

The reason why child custody becomes even more difficult is because during a divorce, two people are not very well disposed towards each other. Instead of trying to meet each other half-way and simplify the process, they contest every point. Very often, what is best for the child is not even taken into consideration.

Negative Impact on Children

While adults fight tooth and nail forgetting any love they might have shared, the greatest sufferers are the children. To watch their parents fighting over them without really considering their wishes and emotions can be devastating for children. Their world feels like it has fallen apart, and they do not know what their future holds in store for them and they even blame themselves for their parents’ parting ways.

The pain and hurt that children experience during a bitter child custody battle, leaves behind scars, which they carry through life. In fact, these scars can determine the kind of adults they become. Children can become aggressive, withdrawn and anti-social as a consequence of their parents’ divorcing. Being caught up in the tug-of-war between their parents, causes emotional strain and deep wounds.

Mediation as an Alternative

If parents can hold on to their anger at least when it comes to child custody issues, it can go a long way in preventing a painful time from getting worse. Instead of turning it into a bitter legal battle, a couple can choose to use a neutral mediator. This way, the children are spared from being drawn into the conflict. Further, a mediator can appeal to a couple’s better senses and help them make the best possible decision for a child. A mediator can also help calm the situation and try and make the separation as amicable as possible.

Conclusion

Divorce can never be happy even when a couple parts amicably. It can, however, be less contentious if both partners view their children’s interests as top priority. It is important that both partners keep their personal anger out of decisions involving the children. They can decide to be the best parents possible even if they couldn’t be the best couple possible. If child custody is handled with sensitivity and maturity, children will get over the divorce sooner and can go on to lead a fairly normal life.

Article Source: http://www.article-host.com/