Surviving Infidelity and Recovering from the Shock

Lisa tried her level best to come to terms with this startling find. But how could she? She was experiencing something like an emotional rollercoaster. There were mixed feelings raging within her. On the one hand, she felt like murdering her husband for having betrayed her. On the other hand, she was keen on finding out where she herself may have gone wrong; what may have compelled her husband to seek another partner?

Will Lisa survive this shocking occurrence? Is there a way out for her to end this debacle? Let us explore the possibilities.

Surviving Infidelity – What Statistics Indicate

With half of marriages coming to an abrupt end, you might start wondering as to what really causes marriages to come to a grinding halt. You will be surprised to know that experts attribute one of the prime reasons to infidelity or unfaithfulness in marriage.

According to the National Opinion Research Center, as many as 37 men out of every 100 married men and 20 women out of every 100 married women are involved in infidelity of one kind or the other. This gives rise to a figure of 1 out of every 2.7 couples indulging in infidelity. There is very little doubt that these numbers might take you by surprise. You will have to understand that these figures involve both sexual as well as emotional affairs.

Infidelity in Men and Women – The Difference in Perception

To put it short, infidelity would mean violation of the sanctity of a marriage. They do not happen overnight but happen over a period of time. It happens with another person in whom you see qualities that are missing in your marriage partner. Infidelity doesn’t always involve sex as it is widely perceived.

Now, a question might arise that if sex is not involved, what other things can actually picture in an extra-marital relationship? If sex is one of the prime factors that determine infidelity, there are other things such as time, confidence, money, and intimacy which you start sharing with your new partner that is equivalent to unfaithfulness.

Men and women look at extramarital affairs in different ways. While women are usually drawn into extra-marital relationships emotionally, men go for it for sexual pleasure. On the other hand, women tend to think that their partners are involved in extra-marital relationships for emotional support and men tend to think that women indulge in infidelity for want of sexual pleasure.

Looking for Calm after the Storm

If you were to ask me if a marriage relationship can ever survive relationship, you will be surprised to know that the answer is a yes. The findings of infidelity can be devastating allowing for intense emotions and tempers to flare up. However, marriage counselors and therapists strongly believe that such relationships are bound to get stronger when the couples willingly start working towards repairing the relationship.

A marriage relationship can be revived by following these steps:

• The convicted partner needs to end all extra-marital relationships.


• As a second step, he or she should confess all truths about the affair.


• As the next stage, the couple need to sit together to analyze as what went wrong with their relationship that instigated one of them to look out for another partner.

• Go out on long walks. This provides for a way to reduce the anxiety and tension within you.


• Talk to people who are closer to you about your problems. It reduces the serious burden of taking a huge decision from your end. Let people offer you suggestions on what needs to be done to counter this situation.
  
• Involve yourself in morale boosting exercises. It really helps to maintain your self confidence.


• Take the help of professionals to counter the situation. There is nothing wrong in seeking professional help. Supportive therapy is always helpful.


• Talk to people on discussion forums on the Internet. There are people who have already been there. They can offer all their assistance to get you out of this situation.

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