Surviving the Divorce

Post-divorce and Behaviour Therapy: Post-divorce is a stressful time. It can be traumatic for both genders. Social psychologists argue that a divorcer has to seek professional help at this stage. It is important for the divorcer to let go of all negative emotions. This catharsis is extremely essential to begin life afresh.

Social psychologists state that men and women react differently to divorce. Thus, behaviour therapy is intense in the case of female divorcers. This is because women react at an emotional level. They are unable to be objective and realistic when it comes to their feelings. They cannot separate the emotion of love from want. For them, an act of wanting something outside the marriage is an act of betrayal of love. Women find it harder to accept divorce.

They are more prone to hallucinatory and fantasy behaviour. The situation becomes more difficult when children enter the picture. The negative emotions of the mother find root in the child's mind. This creates disharmony for the family regarding their attitude and perspective. Behaviour therapists have an important role to play.

Communication and Introspection: Therapists follow the exercise of self-talk leading to introspection. This is the first step towards dealing with divorce. Therapists hold that it is not possible for the divorcer to maintain a sane and healthy attitude if plagued by negative emotions. These emotions take a toll on attitude, behaviour and perception. A divorcer ought to deal with self-negative emotion before dealing with challenges of post-divorce life.

Communication leading to introspection plays the role of cathartic agent. The divorcer is able to finally release bottled emotions without inhibitions. This catharsis can often take the form of crying, shouting and screaming. Catharsis enables the individual to accept reality and make positive changes. Introspection gives the divorcer the strength to face personality faults. It helps them in determining priorities. It further helps them in realising their own negative behaviour.

Post-divorce: Adjusting and dealing with life post-divorce is not a simple one-step process. Divorce changes everything. The divorcer is single again. Finances, child custody and career issues have to be dealt with. Post-divorce stress is effectively minimised with behaviour therapy.

Thus, dealing with divorce starts immediately after divorce. There is no point in thinking that since you had an amicable uncontested divorce, you are stress-free. This is absolutely wrong. No matter what type of divorce, post-divorce stress always occurs. Behaviour therapists argue that a divorcer can successfully and objectively deal with challenges post-divorce by getting rid of emotional baggage. This makes the divorcer receptive to suggestions and ideas. The divorcer is able to develop as a mature individual accepting reality.

Letting Go of Emotional Baggage through Behaviour Therapy of Communication

Opening up to Suggestions: The therapist cannot lead the divorcer's life for her. The decision has to be taken by the divorcer. The therapist can only guide her thought processes.

Presenting Options: Therapists put forward new opportunities, which the divorcer was unable to enjoy during marriage. The logic is not to let the divorcer feel sorry for herself. The therapist has to convey that the divorcer is better off without the spouse through actions. Usually, making suggestions about future plans does this. These include:

• Going back to school to get a degree



• Opting to apply for flexible working hours to spend more time with children



• Changing career to suit demands of household



• Changing residence to get rid of memories



• Making a financial plan outlining all short term and long term goals



• Cutting household expenses and explaining to the children



• Developing a social circle of friends



• Having a physical makeover to feel good about self



• Begin dating again

Article Source: http://www.article-host.com/